Just a few February, I went out to eat with a friend and was hit by a devastating blow.
As I ordered a sandwich club, I threw it at me nervously. "So, I have some news," he said in a hesitant tone. There was an agitated upset pause.
"Oh God," I said. My heart beat so quick I plotting it could jump out of my chest cavity. She place her head in her hands as she rushed to break my news. Just tell me, for God's like, I plotting to myself.
"It's for Tom," he said.
"Okay," I said, panicking. This was the man I had been watching for the last nine months. A friend-with-repayment that I fell in like with. Not that I would admit it at the time.
"He has a girlfriend?" I guess in an attempt to get out of my misery.
There were more. "They have a baby," he said. Abruptly the restaurant felt unbearably noisy. A heat wave passed over my body and a weird rash appeared on my chest, the sandwich arrived. I looked at it and tried not to pinch.
It was three days before Valentine's Day and I wanted nothing more than to stop. "Valentine's Day can get you absolutely fucked," I told my friend Michelle the next day as I ran down the aisle and shouted at the same time. A feat of human nature, you could say.
I wanted to round every pink silk, every turquoise card, every sticky giant teddy bear and toss them into a giant fire. Everywhere I went I felt like a constant assault on like, romance and relationships. Each one a reminder of the rejection pinch I feel. I wanted to pretend that Valentine's Day didn't exist, but I didn't know how.
There is a scene in Bridget Jones' diary where she finds out that Daniel Claever has a secret fiancee all the time and they have to go to work and act as if nothing happened. She stared blankly at her computer screen, tears in her eyes. In my work in a theatrical press, I spent a week secretly wiping tears as they rolled my eyes.
On Valentine's Day, a work friend left a card in my office. It was a kind gesture that made me feel loved. But shortly, on Instagram, I saw the Valentine's Day card that Tom had given to his girlfriend. There was a depiction of a green olive tree alongside the "Olive You" line. Ugh, it's literary. It was the longest February 14th I have ever lived.
In the following years, this damn day came and went. For a few years I was nursing a kaput heart from yet another terrifying dating encounter. Dear friends, they continued with their sweet gestures (my best friend left a red rose in my office for a year). The truth is that Valentine's Day is another day, unless you are in a state of pleased bliss. Well, why not treat it exactly as it is: just one day in February.
I turn down to spend another Valentine's Day crying over a terrible helicopter. If you are breastfeeding a kaput heart fragment and listening to the repetition of "Somebody Else" 1975, then do not worry about the impending arrival of Feb. 14. Here are some proven techniques for two-finger placement until Day V.
Celebrate other types of like
The psychologist Dr. Tony Ortega suggests that the day be transformed "from the day of romantic like to a day that celebrates all kinds of like, as we did when we were children."
"If you want to celebrate like but don't have romantic like, grab your friends and do something out of the ordinary to celebrate your friendships," Ortega says. "This could take the form of a scavenger hunt or maybe an society that serves both alcohol but has some entertainment, such as games or even a show." If you can't imagine going out, you could make FaceTime a friend who lives long and has a long-term perspective.
Eliminate all negative thoughts
Gender and relationship therapist Silva Neves recommends banning your negative thoughts about yourself. "Having a relationship is not a sign of accomplishment. Many people in relationships are miserable.
"Whenever you have a negative plotting about yourself, inhale and go deep and say something that cultivates for yourself instead of yourself. You will find that you have many excellent qualities. " Make a list of all you like if you feel like it.
Ignore the hype
Valentine's Day is literally every other day. So why not treat it as such? As it falls on a Friday this year, stick to your usual Friday routine – grab a drink in the pub with your mates, or occasionally mind Grace and Frankie on your couch with a cafeteria. Dodge anything that will remind you of what date it is – stay away from social media and turn any calendars around so they can see the wall.
Rachael Lloyd, eharmony relations expert, says that "it may seem obvious, but the more you participate in Valentine's Day, the more you will be affected." "Go over like tales, dodge your local pizza expression and keep the social media for the day to standardize your exposure."
Get really into the puzzle
If it is nearly impossible to ignore the fact that it is the most damn day in the calendar, then ramps up your distraction techniques. My best friend, Elisha, swears by jigsaw puzzle because she says they "require enough concentration to prevent you from getting in your head too much, but not so much that you can't get the job done". Buy a large Doritos handbag, a rose bottle and a 1,000-piece jigsaw puzzle and it will keep you entertained and, for sure, take you for hours. Alternatively, you can invite all your friends home for a game night.
Persona: vicky leta / mashable
Have a name & # 39; my time & # 39;
Dating and relationship coach Sami Wunder says that if you are alone, Valentine's Day is the perfect day to celebrate yourself. "First, don't let the whole publicity campaign make you choose that it's going to be a day of self-like," says Wunder. "So take care of a few days, keep a massage or a manicure or give yourself a nice russet or place on your favorite dress and get yourself dinner."
Neves says that if Valentine's Day is unpleasant for you, "give yourself permission to delight in no matter what your boat floats on." "Can it be a long bathtub or have your favorite chocolates or place your favorite movies and a glass of wine?" says Neves.
You have a shipping day
If you have the day off, one thing that is guaranteed to keep you very busy is in succession errands. Go to the gym, clean your fridge, buy your groceries, make your own clothes, iron those clothes at the bottom of the ironing pile. In small, stay busy. At the end of the day, you will have a splendid sense of accomplishment.
People in long-term relationships are not the only people who have sex on Valentine's Day. Dr. Ortega suggests calling your friend and plotting a tie.
"Do you have a friend with repayment you can call? Instead of celebrating romantic like, celebrate your sexual nature with your FWB," Ortega says. "Toss away the concept of romantic like and celebrate sexual like for a while."
If you do not have an FWB, then Neves recommends having a solo sex orgasm (also known as masturbation). "And to commit to having them on a regular footing, not just on Valentine's Day," says Neves.
Leave the country
Not forever. Just take a break and take some space from all. If you can afford it, pamper yourself on a weekend away somewhere nice, or take a road trip to visit a friend you haven't seen for ages. About a fortnight after this thump happened, I chose to book an EasyJet flight to Germany to visit a really nice friend of mine. It made me a world of excellent to get away from all and gain some perspective on the situation. This year, I am coming back to Germany to see the same friend and we will celebrate female friendship in spite of romantic like.
No matter what you do on February 14, remember that many people in long-term relationships could not. It's a obtuse day.